The meal of champions is actually made up of Funyons, Mountain Dew, and gas station donuts. It still serves as the only combination that allows four middle school boys the physical and mental capacity to endure a 24 hour non-stop adventure that involves nonstop video game drama. Some of my greatest memories were created and sustained by such delectable delights. During my tenure in that season of life, the reason for the mass consumption of sugar and carbs was to serve King Madden, the Lord of the Gridiron, Sir Pigskin himself, the All Mighty Voice from on High aka the press box. Whenever someone would question our mission or the grit that we carry it forth with, we would only need to say, “EA Sports” to which all would know and respond, “It’s in the game.” It was Madden 2000.
Perhaps I’m waxing nostalgic as Madden 23 was released on August 19th, making it 23 years since the release of the only Madden game that really matters, the one played on N64 and the OG PlayStation, the one and only Madden 2000. Besides the personal pride that stemmed competing on the electronic gridiron, there is one special attribute of Madden 2000 that will forever make it rise above the every other Madden for all eternity. It certainly isn’t the graphics. The blocky design, while innovative for the time, made it impossible to differentiate players, especially during a “snow” game. It isn’t the game speed, or the player options, or the controls. While the cheat codes have some entertainment value to them, such as to play as the All 80’s team you have to go to the cheat screen and type in REAGANOMICS (which I’m still only partially sure of what those were, sorry Mr. Hale), or for fewer penalties you typed in REFISBLIND, what made Madden 2000 special was the opening song:
Madden 2000 was released August 31, 1999, but that same month, an independent and debut studio album of an American rapper was also released. While his 3x Platinum album Back for the First Time was still a year away, and of course the more famous Word of Mouf and The Red Light District albums weren’t even getting imagined yet, August of 1999 gave the planet their first real taste of the soon to be world famous artist, Ludacris. Of course for a group of 11-year old boys in the basement of a farm house in Colorado, we thought we were getting away with sin just by pulling an all-nighter playing video games. We were clueless about Ludacris and most rap music to be honest, and while that would eventually change, we knew the voice of the intro song of Madden 2000. The only time we got yelled at for being too loud was when we would all answer Luda’s questions of, “What’cha want?” and if you ever played you know, “The rock in the palm of my hands,” and “What’cha got?,” “I got John Madden!”
Being skinny, slow, and uncoordinated, my football future was always bleak. I never had a passion to play it but I always loved it. My skill set for video games was and still is on par with my football skills. How many all-nighters we pulled where I never won a game is a number I’d rather not think about. We often paired off teams and whoever got stuck with me would automatically be named all-time QB and play caller, while my role was to not touch the controller and let the computer do it’s thing unless I had a breakaway run or it was a designed blitz. My confidence was high. None of that mattered though because we were together, we were “rebels” with a cause we believed in, and snacks that brought us to the brink of nausea. I haven’t played many video games since those years. I tried to act like a gamer a couple times but I was too awful to make an honest commitment and eventually too preoccupied. It’s ironic though how unreal it is in how video games look so real today:
The shadows, the wrinkles of the jerseys, the form and movement that matches each players’ real life counterpart, the fans, the fields, the depth of play calls and audibles, the realism that has been honored down to the last detail. Unlike Madden 2000 where, well…
But it’s still the best! I’m keenly aware that my reflective nature is causing me to place undue fault upon Madden NFL for continually getting better. I want Madden 2000 to remain as the standard for all sports video games.
None of us are totally blameless when it comes to viewing the era that raised us as having some of the best aspects of all time, and sports video games was one of them for the late 90’s and early 2000’s: Madden 2000, NFL Blitz, Wayne Gretzky’s 3D Hockey, NBA Live 2000 with Tim Duncan on the cover. Modern sports video game adaptations are just too realistic and have become a breeding ground for Seriousyons not Funyons. In their realism they are relinquishing the fun. Even though Madden 2000 included real players who were our actual sports idols, the graphics and speed of play was ridiculous and awful! We knew that, we accepted it, and we subconsciously loved it even more for it. There were no false pretenses that we would know or love these sports better, much less play them better in real life, after playing the video game. We had no choice but to embody sheer enjoyment. Sports video games now groom future pop warner dads to think they know more about football than an actual coach all because they can go undefeated on expert mode with the Raiders. I openly admit that I’m 100% biased, but I also admit that a professional Madden player probably could substitute in the booth at a lot of places, but that’s the point! I hope in 10 years my son will have some friend’s over to our house and after scarfing junk food and a gallon of soda they find an old box (one that does exist) that has a Nintendo 64 and a handful of video games in it. Once they figure out how to plug an RCA cable into a Genius TV (because that’s the next step after Smart TV) I hope they stay up all night playing and debating the rosters of 2000 to the current 2033 rosters and survive till the sun comes up knowing how fun of a night they had. Maybe I’ll even get to sneak out of my room and “yell” at them to be quiet when I hear them sing out, “I got John Madden!”
“John Madden 2000 Theme”
[Ludacris]
Maaaaaaaaan, get out my way and watch out as I come through
Bustin’ in your line, crackin’ helmets in two
I bring the pain, so what’cha gone do?
Stand there and just get shook out your shoes
So clean out your locker, I’m out to get’cha
Cuz I just popped ya, you can’t take the pressure
You might as well quit, cuz you just can’t last
Madden two thou put your face in the grass
And your spine in the DIRT, so put on a SKIRT
If you step on the field and don’t wanna get HURT
Just bruised and beaten, all black and blue
And it’s been like that since Madden ’92
[Ludacris]
You better come harder than hard, rougher than rough
Put up your guard, get ready to crush
It’s thangs on this field that you just can’t change
E.A. Sports, it’s in the game, what’cha want?
(The rock in the palm of my hands!!!)
What’cha got? (I got John Madden!!!!)
What’cha want?
(The rock in the palm of my hands!!!)
What’cha got? (I got John Madden!!!!)
What’cha want?
(The rock in the palm of my hands!!!)
What’cha got? (I got John Madden!!!!)
What’cha want?
(The rock in the palm of my hands!!!)
What’cha got? (I got John Madden!!!!)
Feel the power
